Need a new one.

The rules are simple--I make a wish, you grant it in a way that makes me regret wishing it, then you make a wish for the next person to corrupt.




I wish I knew everything.

Granted, but then you would know everything including the various horrifying things found on the internet

I wish I could blow things up with my mind.

Granted, but the first thing you blow up is your mind.

I wish the top threads of the "Two Cans Museum of Old Junk" were still around.

Granted, but they are taking up too much space on Blake's server causing it to overload heat up and blow up, no more Twocans =(


I wish it was summer already

Granted, it is the last day of summer already, so winter is just around the corner.

I wish I had a muskox in my backyard.

Granted, but it's dead and starting to rot pretty badly

I wish my boyfriend could come down for the weekend.

Granted, but he has to take the next available flight back.

I wish I had the ability to teleport.

Granted but you get stuck in alternate realities.

I wish this taxi would get here

Granted but he abducts you and you're never heard of again until they find you, malnourished in a basement years later.
On the plus side, you'll probably have a law and order episode based off of your story

I wish I had some cookie dough ice cream.

Granted, you have one spoonful of cookie dough ice cream.


I wish I had more time.

Granted, go directly to jail to serve your sentence.

I wish I was a hunter, in search of different food.

Granted, and guess what you found ants!

I wish for something useful to do.

Granted, but it's cleaning out sewers

I wish I didn't have work tomorrow

Granted, but only because you had to stay home due to a terrible disease.

I wish I could eat anything I want whenever I want and stay as skinny as I am now.

Granted, but you throw up any excess calories every time you eat.

I wish I was hungry

You are, but your hunger is never satisfied so you eat and eat and eat and eat and gain alot of weight.

Granted but then you explode.
(shoulda made a wish)

I wish I could wear makeup and not look dumb

Granted, but you look like an old wise guy that isn't "dumb"... haha play on words
I wish I could find my DSI.

Granted--you find it broken.


I wish I had a large bowel of delicious pudding to eat.

Granted, it gives you salmonella.

I wish for my math work to be done.

granted but you have to rewrite it 24566 times


i wish that i had a good friend in this stupid class

Granted, but then they moved away as soon as you became friends.


I wish that I had a shopping spree with unlimited amounts of money.

granted, but you spend it all on one candy bar

Your wish?

I wish I had a puppy!

Granted, but it's dead

I wish I could give myself a good manicure